Facilitate Alignment in Conflict
How to Mediate Employee Disputes: A Simple Guide for New Managers
Workplace conflict is inevitable—but when managed well, it can lead to growth, collaboration, and better outcomes. As a manager, you don’t need to be a trained therapist to help your team navigate disagreements. Your role is to create a container for constructive dialogue and guide people back toward alignment and shared purpose.
Below is a step-by-step guide that blends classic mediation practices with coaching-based alignment tools.
Step 1: Set the Stage for Resolution
Create safety: Set a respectful tone and let each person know you are there to help—not to judge.
Explain the process: Say something like, “I’m here to help you both share your perspectives and find a way to move forward together.”
Step 2: Ventilate Emotions Safely
Use a tool called Bilateral Ventilation, where each person speaks to you, not to each other.
Ask: “What’s going on for you? How does this make you feel?”
Let each person speak in short bursts using “I statements”.
Do not allow interruptions. Be a neutral listener.
Then ask: “When you hear that, what comes up for you?”
This helps both people feel heard and reduces emotional intensity before jumping to solutions.
Step 3: Shift Toward Common Interests
Ask these powerful coaching questions:
“Are you willing to resolve this without blame?”
“Why is it important to resolve this?”
“What do you already agree on?”
Look for shared values, such as doing good work, being respected, or wanting to collaborate effectively.
Reflect back what you hear:
“It sounds like doing your job well is important to both of you.”
“You’re both frustrated because this is affecting your workflow.”
Step 4: Put the Problem Out in Front
Help your team members see the issue as the problem, not each other.
Say: “It seems like the real challenge is [name the issue]. How can we tackle this together?”
Physically represent the problem if needed (e.g., draw it on a whiteboard).
Encourage both people to sit side-by-side, not face-to-face, and talk about how to solve the issue together.
This shift makes them a team again, not opponents.
Step 5: Create a Path Forward
Once emotions settle and alignment is forming:
Ask: “What’s one small step each of you can take to improve this?”
Help them agree on a couple of concrete action items.
Follow up in a few days or weeks to check in.
Final Thought: Seek Higher Ground
If the conflict reflects deeper misalignments, you may need HR support, team coaching, or further development. But many day-to-day disputes can be resolved when managers act as guides, not fixers—centering the shared goal and creating space for people to hear each other.
“Alignment doesn’t mean agreement—it means consciously choosing to move in the same direction.”
As a manager, your greatest power in conflict is facilitating alignment—bringing people back into relationship, back into purpose, and back into action.
